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THE COULOMB MANOEUVRE

Many are the times you walk into a record store and find a temping piece of wax shrink-wrapped in plastic. As vinyl junkies will attest there is but one way to get to your precious vinyl without destroying the cover or gaining papercuts underneath your fingernails in the process and this is by resorting to the subtlety of a physical process discovered some centuries before Edison invented the phonograph: "FRICTION"

For those of you unfamiliar with the process the recordstore is providing as easy to follow 'how to' guide. Below are two images which make it clear how the process works.

The Classic Coulomb

The Wear and Tear Coulomb
Place the record as shown (opening down)
and rub gently back and forth from left to right
applying only as much pressure as the weight
of the record exerts. Approximatly ten to 20 rubs will be enough to wear the plastic down
and it should simply split along the
opening of the record cover with the
slightest coaxing.
The "Wear and Tear" Coulomb is exactly the same as the 'Classic' except you use the thicker part of your pants around the belt line
to avoid creating unseemly friction lines in your strides. As you ar not using the weight
of the record you will need to apply a small
amount of pressure but take care not to push
too hard or you will damage the cover.

 

Who is Coulomb and why is this particular manoeuvre named after him?


Charles August Coulomb (1736-1806) adds to the second law of friction; "strength due to friction is proportional to compressive force", "although for large bodies friction does not follow exactly this law". Coulomb published the work referring to Amontons. The second law of friction is known as the "Amontons-Coulomb Law" referring to work done by the two scientists in 1699 and 1785 respectively.

The Amontons-Coulomb law of friction holds for many different material combinations and geometries but unlike Newton’s first law, nothing fundamental can be derived from it. link

We decided to drop the Amontons from the name as it was too unwieldy and Coulomb sounds way better anyway. Respect to Amontoms but he can blame his mother - or in this case, his father for having an ungainly family name.